And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
