Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
