woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
