she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
