grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
