Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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