just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
