oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
