im about as happy as oj after his trial
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
