I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
