Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
