Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize