I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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