She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
