meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
These tits shall not be calmed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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