wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
