and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
