What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
