everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
