What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
