make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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