dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
