a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
