i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
