I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
