I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize