she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
