I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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