i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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