Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do herpes really smell.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Randomize
