I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
