But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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