My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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