her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Terrible idea I love it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
