my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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