Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
