even my farts smell like vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize