Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
