we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
