Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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