Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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