So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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