so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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