i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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