I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize