his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
