your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
