sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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