I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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