the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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