So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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