She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize