U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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