Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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