i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
