he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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