Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
