im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He shit in the fireplace
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
