would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
