I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
