Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize