Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
