Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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