This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
